November 5, 2007

This Is Your Brain On Aqua Dots. Any Questions?

So far, the most chilling words to come out of the kid's mouth are "No, I learned it on [insert TV show name here]," as in:

"And Daddy, dogs are hunters by nature."

"REALLY. Did you talk about that at school?"

"No, I learned it on Zoboomafoo."

The kid does not watch TV every day, or even much at all, and yet she picks up more stuff than a Swiffer at a cat show. As a result of watching Yo Gabba Gabba! on Nickelodeon, though, she has begun seeing commercials targeted at her. [Thanks to PBS Sprout, she did learn to say, "If you have problems with credit card debt, call the number on your screen." several months ago. We took a Sprout break for a while after that.]


Now it turns out one of the products she schooled me on, Aqua Dots, which are far superior to beads and Elmer's glue for making a tacky plastic mosaic, are being recalled in Australia, where they're sold as Bindeez, because they contain GHB, a powerful anesthetic and rave drug.

Suh-weet. I'm sure if there were a problem with the US toys [which are made in Hong Kong], the CPSC would tell us. Assuming the agency's lone toy tester doesn't have to pick his mother-in-law up at the airport or something.

Bindeez Toys Recalled Over Drug Fears []
Popular Australian Toy Filled With GHB [consumerist]


the distributor of the 'magic beads' in australia say the manufacturuers changed the chemicals used without notice. there is also a case of some young women partying together, dropped the beads in their drinks as a joke, and all had the real Fantasy experience


Uhh, CPSC tester just got back from the airport.
ap/yahoo: Toy containing date-rape drug pulled

[Money quote: "Chris Byrne, a New York-based toy consultant, noted that the incidents could have been isolated, and Spin Master may be erring on the side of caution" (by recalling the easily ingestible toys coated with a coma-inducing drug). -ed.]

It strikes me that there's a B-grade Michael Crichton thriller (if that's not redundant) in all this. The Chinese, seeking to topple the American super-power, begins poisoning those capitalist children with lead and GHB laced toys.

"In a generation the imperialist dogs will be learning-disabled, comatose pawns. Bwaaahaaaa!"

{The Manchurian Playdate -ed.]

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