October 17, 2007

Dan Neil: Chrysler's New Minivan Will Make You A DILF

Dan Neil in the LA Times:

Out on the savanna, the reproductively desirable male was older (à la Connery), of higher rank and status within the tribe and commanding more of its wealth. A female's innate programming tends to favor males with the potential to invest in her offspring, to commit resources to the family.

And that is why the 2008 Chrysler Town & Country Limited just might be the sexiest vehicle a man could ever drive.

Let me draw a line under that: This 2 1/2 -ton pachyderm, with window shades and the Cartoon Network on Sirius satellite TV, is sexier than a Ferrari.

Of course, there are a few holes in Neil's DILF analysis: A Ferrari signifies more wealth than a minivan. Also, Dan just became a D [twin girls, mazel tov!], which means he's not getting any F, or any sleep for that matter. Let's see what he says in 6 months.

And if the new Chrysler really has made a shagtastic minivan combined "with the long-distance livability of custom van interior," why don't the rear seats fold down into a bed?

Head of the family [latimes via jason]


Maybe it only works if you have a cool panoramic nature scene painted across the side panels.

[or a viking goddess in a metal bikini -ed.]

The savanna analogy is great in light of the review being of a suburban tank and the story in the NY Times about a buck crashing through the window of a suburban NJ school and running bloody through the halls.

Dude's obviously a new dad. He installed the car seat forward-facing.

I do like the window shades, though.

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