October 1, 2007

Bwahahahaha Park Slope Like-A-Bike-Snobs-In-Training


From the parent report at Gowanus Lounge:

We were on our way back from a great afternoon in Prospect park and my son was happily gliding downhill on his "Like-a-bike" type bike that happens to be made by another brand when the above group of boys came streaking down the street on scooters and started yelling "fake bike! fake! fake bike!" at him. At first my husband and I thought they were yelling "brake!" in a harmless attempt to mimic our warnings that he slow down as he occasionally picked up speed. It took us a while to figure out what they were even talking about as the trailed my son, circling around him for several blocks. Luckily my son, who is extremely pleased and proud of his hard won mastery of the bike, was in his own happy gliding world and didn't even notice.
That's what they think. Fortunately, the $180 this family saved by buying that Skuut will just about cover the first 50-minute hour of therapy their son will need to deal with all that pre-school ostracism.

Rude Materialistic Kids in Park Slope?!?! [gowanuslounge via curbed]
Previously: Skuut: suspiciously like a Like-A-Bike


Another one: http://www.binobike.com/

NEWSFLASH: Kids make fun of each other. Those parents are delusional - the brand of bike had nothing to do with it. They were making fun of him because it was a baby's bike with no pedals. Duh.

I agree with Ryan... I think the parents own insecurity at buying the inferior brand is the problem here. (Although I'm hoping our Cayenne-owning friends down the street in the high-end condo won't call me out if I get a Jetta wagon...)

BTW, the Skuut is $80 on Ebay now (damn, I paid twice as much, especially considering that the Canadian dollar is worth like $37US now) so the savings may cover more than an hour of therapy, which I'd give to the parents in this case.

um yeah. I agree with ryan. those parents are projecting their insecurity onto a bunch of little kids. plus, you can say a lot of snarky things about park slope (and for some reason people do constantly) but as far as it being snooty? i mean hello? the upper east side? short hills? tribeca? i would say it's pretty chill compared to most places in the tri-state area.

I guess they wouldn't like our son's redneck coaster bike then.


Which is what he rides now that he is too big for the original wooden coaster bike my husband made:


Wooden coaster bikes are kinda Park Slope yuppy to begin with. If you're going to give your kid a bike - even a sidewalk bike - put some pedals on it.

[ah, you mean like the BMW coaster bike with the optional pedal attachment -ed.]

Yeah, another vote for the "it has no pedals" theory.

PS: Greg! Please, please fix the thing where "remember personal info?" doesn't. It makes it very annoying to have to enter all that info just to post these kind of valueless "me too" posts.

[first I've heard of it, but I'll look into it. I just figured since they were slightly older, they were a gang of original L-A-Bikers. -ed.]

Another reason why you shouldn't move to the Slope. Over-priced apartments for rejected hipsters from Manhattan. Move to the hell that is the suburbs, or stay in the city... Brooklyn is purgatory.

I have to agree with the above posts. I doubt a group of kids that young would know what brand of bike they have, let alone what a knock-off looks like.

They weren't MY KIDS for crying out loud. It'll take 'em years to learn the names of brands and how to point them out.

[where's Neal Pollack when you need him? -ed.]

Maybe "fake" is the newest term for awesomeness? Maybe they were really really into the bike with no pedals and we're circling to check it out?

I'm teaching my kid to say "your parents are suckers for spending 800% more on the SAME thing"

Following by "who's laughin' now, beeyotch!?"

Well, not the last part.

I'm teaching my kid to say "your parents are suckers for spending 800% more on the SAME thing"

What an uneducated comment....I reckon this guy has never compared the 2 and can't afford a LIKEaBIKE. Anyone who has compared them WOULD not say that! FACT!

[lol, damn straight, teach the kid to shout out, "You're POOR!" instead. -ed.]

As a former bully and the proud father of a former bully myself, I can say with absolute certainty that the author's quick-tempered analysis of the situation could not be more pathetically wrong...

1. Snotty teenage girls, and not bona fide bullies, take issue with a particular item's brand. To do so does not lie within the realm of the "bully mindset". "Hey kid nice knockoff!" That is something you would expect more from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and NOT from a pack of juvenile delinquents.

2. Let's be honest: when you consider the various modes of transportation available to children, the like-a-bike lies somewhere just above "stroller" and slightly below "training wheels". It is nothing short of crying out to the world "my mommy says I'm not allowed to get hurt so my daddy got me this". It just screams "kick-me".

3. Furthermore, the quintessential bully would regard other aspects of the picturesque scene the author failed to provide to us; such as the following:
a. Was the child wearing a helmet?
b. Was the child wearing the appropriate knee and elbow protection?
c. Was the author's husband happily jogging alongside their child in case he lost his balance?
d. Did the child's father have a proud smile from spanning from ear to ear?
e. Did the author have that maternal look of fawning which mothers are apt to have been watching their little boys grow up?

4. If the parent really wants to feel inferior cut/paste this your browser (we have the little blue racer for our 16 month old): http://www.bmw-online.com/BMWRA_products.asp?page=1&mm=For+Kids&c=Future+Drivers&sc=Toys&m=AUTOMOTIVE&r1=&md=&a1=ON&d1=ON&i1=ON&p1=1&p2=10&s1=80910414338&bplo=&bphi=&promo=

5. Finally, in the true spirit of the bully, I need to scoff at the poster's lame attempt to use this pathetic incident to drive traffic to this stupid AdSence site (where google pays this guy a commission every time visitors click on a sponsored link).

Nice one...

[I don't know the details of the psychological drivers of bullying, but I'd guess it involves deepset insecurities about the bully's notions of his own power, which for guys is rooted in masculinity. And despite your hollow macho protests, both snotty girls and the offspring of brand-obsessed asshat metrosexuals can be bullies, too.

Anyway, I'm not sure what the big deal is about bullying anyway; bullies are just the extreme subset of dickheads, the ones who don't go away. Yuppie hoodlums in the Slope are another; parents mocking the biking achievements of someone else's toddler or generically mocking other parents' protectiveness are another; and people bragging about their BMW's are yet another. Obviously, these aren't mutually exclusive. -ed.]

I change 3 times the skuut, and my son do not want to mount on skuut. ... :-(

We are having trouble communicating with Skuut regarding our balance bike orders. Emails are not returned, no one answers the phone and messages are not returned. At this point we are very frustrated with the company because we, as well as many of our customers, have been waiting months to receive our order. We are not accepting new orders until this is resolved, and those with current orders have the option to cancel by calling 614-218-4002. Please have your order number handy to expedite the process. We are very sorry for the inconvenience and will do our best to keep our customers happy. http://www.sproutsoup.com/skuut-balance-bike-c-25-p-1-pr-72.html

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