April 30, 2007

Welcome To The Desert Of The Playmobil


You know, I was wondering: What if you, me, this whole planet, the solar system, were just like dust under the fingernail of a giant? Or what if, you know, all of human civilization is not our own, but just a simulacrum, a shadow, a replica? What if humans are merely entertainment for a greater, master species, who keep us fat and happy by letting us re-enact their history and mimic their achievements and think they are our own? How would we ever know?


Obviously, we just got back from Marin County. But that's not important now. In late 2004, a book was released in Paris that provides the first photographic evidence that the world as we know it is just a figment of some Playmobilian overlord's imagination. La grande aventure de l'Histoire avec Playmobil by Paris photographer and filmmaker Richard Unglik reveals the real story, the arc of history of the world where it all happened first.

From their Lascaux to their Vikings to their Vermeer to their Freud to their moon landing to their Berlin Wall, Unglik documents the march of Playmobil's glorious history. 96 giant pages, stunning in every detail, an invaluable primary source that is sure to be pored over for decades by truthseekers of all stripes.


Oh sure, the blind and the ignorant will cry foul, pointing to supposed "historical inaccuracies" as they cling to their now-outmoded worldview. But those very examples only reinforce the hard truth. ["Q: How could the girl in the 1969 living room be holding a Playmobil doll, when Playmobil wasn't even invented until 1975??" "A: Duh, that's just what they want you to think."]

So far, the book's publisher, a small vanity press in Milan called Manutius, which specializes in conspiracy theory manuscripts a small comics publisher in Paris called Casterman has only released editions in French, Dutch, and German. Except for a few months in 2005, when he returned home to celebrate the birth of his son, Unglik has been on the run from the Knights Templar. At the moment, in fact, he is hiding inside the Musée des Arts et Métiers, but don't tell anyone.

La grande aventure de l'Histoire avec Playmobil by Richard Unglik is EUR19 [amazon.fr]
Playmobil uber-collector Claudia Schott has several scans of Unglik's book [claudia-schott.de]
Unglik's book's page on Casterman Jeunesse [casterman.com]


That's great, but it still doesn't help me understand Lost.

Or why my daughter insisted on licking spilled water off the floor at bedtime the other night.

[lost. some things are beyond our human comprehension, grasshopper. -ed.]

In case you happen to be interested, here's a link to the German Version.

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