April 30, 2007

By Their Customized Recordings Ye Shall Know Them: Joyful Joe, The Bible-Quoting Plush Hippo

joyful_joe_bible_hippo.jpgI confess, Joyful Joe has led me into temptation. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak. If Joyful Joe, the plush hippo named after one of the fruits of the Spirit [Galatians 5:22] had been hardwired to recite someone else's pre-determined Bible verses, I'd have had a problem with it. [and by "problem," of course, I mean, "a problem over and above the fundamental God vs. Mammon contradiction involved in literally repackaging the Holy Spirit into an 8-character line of talking plush toys. Oy vey.]

For instance, we're a King James Version family, so all the new translation verses available on the Joyful Joe Hippo site are out for us. Not to worry; JJ's 10-second digital voicebox is fully recordable, so parents can record whatever the hell [d'oh!] they want on it. It's brilliant. Joe's market is no longer limited to Evangelical Christians, or even Christians at all. If you don't mind your kid's talking hippo carrying around a Bible, you can record him reading anything: Christopher Hitchens quotes, Crank Yankers, ten seconds of Vanity 6 lyrics, whatever you want. [Actually, I hear Vanity's toting a Bible around these days, too.]

Frankly, the most obvious opportunity is right there in Galatians. Can you imagine what profiteth a man who makes a series of talking plush toys based on these verses? Verily, I say they'd have their reward right here, baby:

Gal. 5: 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Just needs a little work on the ending.

Joyful Joe Hippo - Christian Stuffed Animals from Learn The Word, $19.75 [joyfuljoehippo.com via toysblog.it]

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