March 22, 2007

I Think My Water Crackers Have Broken!


Not possessing a uterus myself, I confess, I'm stumped. Anyone able to help a lady out with her party planning?

"Hi I Have just had a baby and brought my placenta home to make placenta pate i am trying to find a recipe do you know of one?"Update: if you're planning to take this to a Final Four party, get hopping: "we find it even more flavorful when made 1 or 2 days ahead."


Hey- can't help with your pate recipe (personally I think it would be better if she planted it under a tree like regular folk).
However I just wanted to let you know that I am reading your blog all of the time -the lack of comments suprises me.Keep up the great work-without your blog to balance cute overload my brain would remain totally mush!

[i just assume people don't keep these recipes at work. they need to wait until they get home. -ed.]

From the Straight Dope:

A friend has sent me recipes from the summer 1983 issue of Mothering magazine for the following mouth-watering dishes: placenta cocktail (1/4 raw placenta, 8 ounces of V-8 juice, 2 ice cubes, 1/2 carrot, blend for 10 seconds at high speed), placenta lasagna, placenta spaghetti sauce, placenta stew, and placenta pizza. The last one will definitely stop conversation at your next Super Bowl party, and since you're not likely to be able to order it from Domino's, here's what you have to do:

"Grind placenta. Saute in 2T olive oil w/4 garlic cloves, then add 1/4 tsp. fennel, 1/4 tsp. pepper, 1/4 tsp. paprika, 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. onion, minced, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/4 tsp. thyme and 1/4 cup wine. Allow to stand 30 min., then use with your favorite homemade pizza recipe. It's a fine placenta sausage topping!"

As a certified carnivore vulgarian, I actually considered doing this when we were pregnant. I didn't for two reasons: 1) ThisWife categorically forbade it; and 2) I was told that placenta tastes like liver.

That said, I imagine that any liver/organ meat-type preparation would work. Steak and placenta pie, anyone?

[1) that assumes you tell people what's on the pizza. 2) does a placenta keep that long? I think she needs something for the Final Four. -ed.]

Man, that is freaking gross. And planting it under the tree like normal folk? Yeah, that sounds REAL normal to me.

Anyway, as nauseated as I am, the foodie in me wants to help this poor DT reader out. So Ms. Placenta Pate, here's my suggestion:

Boil that shit up with some minced onion flakes. Then, blend with a hard boiled egg, some butter, vermouth, salt, and pepper. Blend well. Chill in refrigerator.

Good luck. Don't let me know how it turns out.

[here's a recipe from Epicurious for bourbon chicken liver pate. it's called "sublime" by someone's husband, which should be a good sign, right? I think the key, too, is to trim the placenta. -ed.]

With respect to the issue of it keeping: just pop it in the FoodSaver and freeze it, a la MetroDad. Although it seems that he wouldn't approve, given his post above.

More importantly, what beverages do you think would go well with placenta? I'm going to go with a nice Sauternes or perhaps a good Riesling. Those should really bring out the flavor of the placenta.

Here's the illustrated version of ThisGuy's recipes:

(Note: not for the faint of heart)

Because a placenta is human tissue, is this considered a kind of cannibalism?

[it's a little further along the spectrum than chewing your fingernails or drinking breastmilk, but I think people will plot it differently. -ed.]

Hey Metrodad- I was being a little tongue in cheek when I suggested that the placenta be planted under a tree like REGULAR folk. I know it probably isn't the norm in your world but if you do a little "google" (placenta traditions) you will find that MANY people on this planet treat the placenta with higher regard than mere hospital waste. In some cultures it is buried, others preserve it for medicinal purposes and some, eat it. Mine (yep I possess a uterus) was sent to a lab for analysis because I had a multiple pregnancy (or so they told me). I had no desire to gaze upon it let alone cook it. What is "normal " depends on your experience /knowledge of the world.

Hey twinshere...didn't mean to pass judgement at all. If you ever check out my site, you'd get a sense of that. Just wanted to say that, in all sincerity, I don't care what people do with their placentas. As the old saying man's tree fertilizer is another man's pate.

puree your placenta in a robo coup with a tsp of pureed shallots and 1.5 oz brandy. Add 2 TBL sp of flour(regular) add a tsp of dijon mustard and an egg yolk. s&p to taste.
seperately, render 1.5 lbs duck fat, or as i do save the fat in the freezer everytime you make duck. Slowly add warm(80-90 degrees) so that it emulsyfies, back in a pre heated 250 deg oven in a water bath until a toothpick comes out smooth! let cool and slice! yum!!!
when backing, line a loaf pan with lard and flour.
You can substitute 10 chix livers or 8 dux livers for the placenta. if you use dux, you don't need the flour!

hop this helps its a really great recipe!

i think a red is more in line, if white go big chard, lotsa butter and oak to cut the fat. im thinking more of an older style Cab Franc myself. Maybe the Schneider or something from S. Africa. of course a classic zinfendel of ruffino gold will always go well at the table!

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