November 9, 2006

You've Come A Long Way, Baby Mama

It's always something. In Greenwich in the 70's, it was Valium-and-key parties. In the Valley in the 80's, it was mesclun parties and environmental sickness. In the 90's in South Central it was 40's-n-shorties.

Women trapped alone at home with children have always taken comfort in the company of mood-altering substances while their menfolk were living it up at fancy sports bars. And as long as the family had at least a 3-car garage, there was positively no downside.

Today, with the appearance of the Momtini and alcohol-fueled playdates in the NY Times, the 00's chapter has finally been written. And optioned. And adapted into a movie with Julianne Moore playing the drunk mom.

Cosmopolitan Moms
[nyt via jjdaddy-o]
Previously: Opium: it's not just for teething anymore
Beer: a nursing mom's best friend


So, I guess wine, and not Triaminic, is the Medicine of Motherhood.

Great. Kids are little sponges. All that they are going to pick up from these playdates is that one needs alcohol in order to have fun and relax. If they were of lower socioeconomic class someone would notify DFACS.

Actually, "mesclun parties" are what we have here in the Bay Area in the '00s.

I crack me up sometimes. . . .

[I know the feeling. I wanted to reference Todd Haynes' movie, Safe, but the only scenes that made sense were the birthday party or the lunch in the health food restaurant. -ed.]

Jeez, Jay, put away your pillory and stocks, I think I hear Increase Mather calling you.....
It's an attitude like that which causes our Great Nation to be a place where an 18-year old cannot drink a beer legally, but can go to Iraq and get all his/her limbs blown off.

No not puritanical at all. Personally I don't believe in a drinking age and I think we should legalize all drugs. I don't however, think drinking and watching kids mixes well particularly if the alcohol and not the gathering is being treated as the main event. There's a difference between celebrating the event and celebrating the alcohol. Maybe I am just not describing my dilemma quite as well as I would like.
There is a time and a place for everything. You wouldn't want your babysitter getting high while watching your kid but who cares what she or he does on their off time.

two things... as a single mother I resent the fact that you relate something you view as negative with the words "baby mama". You are perpetuating the stereotype that baby mama's are irresponsible, dramatic, societal failures. Which is completely untrue and unfair. Secondly, why is it okay for dad to have a beer at the family cookout but not for mom to have a wine cooler? In most cases we are not talking about women drinking themselves into oblivion. This is classic madonna complex... is a mother not allowed to have a drink? to be sexy? to have fun? Must her entire identity be defined by motherhood?

[first, the baby mama reference in the title is a play on the cigarette slogan. And if anything, the post is meant as a criticism of media hypocrisy of a puff piece about parental drinking. It's fine and glamorous when a bunch of suburbanites do it, but if it's working women or non-whites kicking back with a 40, it's irresponsible parenting, call Child Services! The same difference in treatment applies for men vs women, but I guess that was lost on you in your pity party, too. Sorry. To be frank, I disapprove of the whole practice of using alcohol for socializing or medicating, and I have a religiously based objection to it to boot. But you don't find any mention of that in my discussion of the story. Thanks for commenting and all, but next time, take a minute, read and think a bit, and see if maybe someone's at least sympathetic to your position (if not 100% in agreement) before laying into them. I mean me. -ed]

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