October 10, 2006

Imprtant Tips For Dads #46: How To Bring Up The NFL

While there seems to be no solution as yet for the awkwardness that is a first birthday party [1], Big Daddy Drew does have some suggestions for saving the talking-with-dads-you-don't-know situation--by turning the conversation to the NFL:

Bring up a game you went to a while back
Most awkward dad conversations include this gem of a question: "So, what have you guys been up to lately?" Now, you could answer honestly and say, "Well, the kid still shits her pants. I haven't gotten laid in two weeks. And last night I masturbated to a picture of Ali Larter in TV Guide. Twice. Oh, and I write for a blog. How about you?" But then you run the risk of being labeled The Creepy Husband, and no one wants that. But here's a perfect place to bring up a recent NFL event you attended. If the guy has no interest in turning the discussion to the NFL after that, your attempt at least won't look so blatant.
In case you're, you know, not a TV Guide guy, Ali Larter is on Heroes, a new NBC series that'll be canceled quicker'n a squashed-flat Matt Leinart can mutter, "da Bears."

Football, Fatherhood, and You!: The Art Of Gay Flirting With Fellow NFL Fans [kiss me suzy via dt reader john]

[1] one commenter does have an important tip: unless you're 100% guaran-damn-teed that all dads are non-NFL guys, don't throw the party on Sunday afternoon.


When you live in Knoxville, TN... the conversation will always turn into Football one way or another. First it'll be either
1)About the game UT just plaid
2)About the game UT will play Next
3)About last season or recruiting

then, you'll go to the UT players who are in the NFL. You'll only whisper about "Doing a Haynesworth"... but go straight into the particulars of Peyton Manning and have enough quality content to write up a Ph.D dissertation for a Sport Communication degree on Peyton's near diety status in Tennessee.

Ali Larter, you say?

Ok, forgive my ignorance, but why do you say Heroes is going to get canceled so quickly? It should be good for a solid single season.

[being a blogger, I of course have done absolutely zero independent reporting--like watching it--but I thought I read somewhere that it kind of blew. I'll go out on a limb though, and predict Heroes will be standing longer than Matt Leinart. -ed.]

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