August 9, 2006

Pediatricians: Replace Shopping Carts Of Death Concussion

The American Academy of Pediatricians is calling for new safety regulations and designs for shopping carts because of all the injuries they say occur with the current 70-year-old design. [Nice of you to chime in now, Docs. What took you so long?]

The Peds say it's a center of gravity problem: children are too high, and they either stand up and take a dive onto the floor, or the cart tips over, taking a buckled-in kid with it. Either way, it's a life-threatening injury for the kid, and six months of mortgage payments on the ski house in Stowe for the neurosurgeon.

First off, remember that it's really only ugly children who are at risk here, since they're the ones who don't get buckled in in the first place. Second, if you don't happen to live in the suburbs, where those Zamboni-like shopping carts with the mini-trucks on the front dwarf the SUV's in the parking lot, the Peds say to use a stroller or a wagon.

Even though they say not to--and I don't know why, because it IS a low center of gravity--I'm going to put the kid in the shopping basket from now on. But only after heading straight to the toilet paper aisle. I'll pack Charmin all around her, then I'll start my list. Then at the checkout line, I'll "change my mind" and leave all the toilet paper stacked on top of the gum. That, or I'll use FreshDirect.

Doctors seek better shopping cart design
[ap/seattle p-i via unbeige]
Previously: Parents don't pay as much attention to ugly children, and don't strap them into shopping carts


Wow, I can't believe I haven't heard about this in Parenting magazine. I mean they notified me about the risk of lightning (200 or so odd people a year)! Considering that Shopping Cart falls are far more common, you'd think they'd spend some time talking about it. Or not. I have a hunch they're only into irrational worrying.
I don't think this is any better

[holy moley, that's going up top right now -ed.]

Dude, that Charmin's gonna get squeezed, then Mr. Whipple be all over your ass...

Yeah the carts are too high up for the wild ones. My kid is fairly tame, and with the "seat belts" that most carts have, I don't see him flipping anything over unless he grabs a shelf for leverage.

I think the plastic shopping carts are worse. They don't have the weight to counter a heavy kid. Gimme heavy steel any day.

70 years old design, eh? I'm sure they can do better, and I hope soon they do.

We are 2 for 2.

One kid fell while climbing out of a cart and hit his head in Costco. No ER trip needed.

The other fell and got her arm run over by a cart in the parking lot at Costco. ER trip required.


[it's like the hotdogs are just the bait to lure you in, and that's when they attack you with their bare concrete floor and Hummer-sized cart. scary. -ed.]

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