April 27, 2012

Three Of The Four Rocking Horses Of The Apocalypse, By Marc Newson For Magis

magis_horses_newson.jpg

A reading from the Book of Revelations:

1 And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.

2 And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

3 And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see.

4 And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

5 And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.

6 And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine. [Rev. 6:1-6]

It is now clear that the opening of the seals refers to the Salone Mobili in Milan, where the furniture whores of Babylon assemble to unveil their wares.

And that the noise of thunder is the grinding whir of the rotational molding machine that creates the gigantic polyethylene products Magis--the Little Tikes of Italy--is known for.

And that he that sat on the white horse with a bow refers to the bow of a boat, not a bow & arrow, so it's Marc Newson, who showed the $1.3 million limited edition Aquariva speedboat Newson showed at Gagosian in the Year of our Lord 2010.

And the only reason the fourth horseman hasn't shown up and the world hasn't ended yet is because it's the pale or green horse, which is only made of recycled plastic which Magis could do, but don't, and it's not like anyone is ever going to throw their expensive designer rocking horse into the chipper, no matter how "recyclable" its manufacturers claim it to be.

And here we have one of the biggest plastics manufacturers in Europe trying to hold back Armageddon by creating even more, even bigger, petroleum-based tchotchkes, and thus hastening the environmental degradation of the earth.

So. Did anyone else see anything interesting in Milan this year?

Rocky, A New Modern Rocking Horse for Kids by Marc Newson For Magis Me Too. [ifitshipitshere via dt voice in the wilderness rolf]

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