It's late, we're traveling tomorrow, and I expect we'll be longing for the good old days of pre-12/25 international flying restrictions in no time. But for anyone who cares, Lufthansa's subcontractor's subcontractor took two days and missed three promised delivery windows, but some Provencal delivery monkey finally rolled into the village at 6:30 Christmas Eve with our missing bags.
I don't want to give Lufthansa any credit at all for "saving Christmas" or for showing up "just in time," since they were late and screwed up every single day since they didn't get our bags off the planes with us over a week ago. And Christmas wasn't in peril, since we'd already bought several make-up/alternative gifts when it became clear that Lufthansa might miss Christmas altogether. [We gave a couple anyway, and took some back today, which we will not expect LH to reimburse us for, of course.]
Anyway, it all went well, Christmas was a cloudless, 50-degree paradise, and the kids had a blast. Now all that's left is a leisurely, carefree trip home. Thanks to everyone who sent along sympathy emails or comments--or your own Lufthansa/LHR horror stories.