March 24, 2005

Born To Shop? How About Give Birth To Shop

Does this story sound familiar?

"There's so much product out there that they want to get the right things for their child, and they want all of it.
"Increasingly, new parents have the money, the confidence and the inclination to seek special accouterments for baby...
"[pregnant lady] Schoen is excited enough to splurge, and to invite others to..."

It should. It's a typical morality-tale-as-shopping-porn article that titillates you with the prices [over-the-top!] parents [rich! crazy!] are paying for cribs and strollers these days.

Naturally, it ends with literally two cautionary lines: "'The love and interaction they get with you,' [some child development expert brought in at the last minute] says of parents, 'is what's going to help them thrive.'"

No great insights for dads here [only one husband is mentioned, in passing]. But there are a bunch of great, laughable finds:

  • the Tattle Tale talking car seat, which tells you if it's installed correctly. [Does it say, "I look like Grandpa's Barcalounger!" too?]
  • Peg Perego Dinamico, the battery-powered stroller.
  • Feng Shui for the Nursery, which recommends "deep colors" to enhance a baby's "natural energy" and not storing anything under the crib to facilitate the flow of chi around the room. [Right now, there's a little too much chi in the nursery, thanks; the kid's pulling everything off every shelf within her reach. Again.]
  • And finally, Star Babies: Astrology for Babies and Their Parents informs us that "Tiny Capricorns 'will retain their good looks throughout their life.'" Which sucks for the other 11/12ths of us, whose kids apparently is as cute as they're ever gonna get, so brace yourselves, it's all downhill from here.

    Parents-to-be shop to fulfill baby's pure possibility [SJ Mercury News, this story's been roaming around in syndication for weeks now. Thanks to DT reader Bally]

  • 1 Comment

    Wow...Feng Shui for the nursery. That's one I've never heard of.

    On a side note, I actually read my children's horoscope. They of course can't read yet but it's kind of funny for me to see what's in the stars for them that day. :)

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